Postponing crim law. We haven't had the class in over a week because of cancellations and other shenanigans so God knows where we are. Probably in homicide. Possibly manslaughter. Possibly I just flipped to a page trying to find where we were starting to find a hypo case in which the victim's name is "Tyvester." This is my life, folks.
And I have realized recently that my life is a sham. Lots of people think I am a fuctional adult, and that is simply not true. I am in "professional" school, and the only step I have taken it that direction is buying a blazer and not plagiarizing. I pay rent, but my checks occasionally have cute puppies on them. I cook for myself, but my greatest culinary accomplishment is making chicken parm and not setting myself on fire. I drive a car to school, but I still get flustered pumping gas and I play the "try to get it to the closest dollar" game with the nozzle pouring highly flammable liquid into my car. (My most recent attempt yielded $25.02, and I pouted for the next half hour.)
The worst part is some part of my brain has decided that I deserve a Congressional Medal of Honor for fueling my car and making tacos. I'm constantly looking around, wanting people to tell me I did a good job, pat me on the back, and give me a cookie. I want my parents to be impressed with me, and that is probably the most ridiculous part - I'll call Mommy and Daddy to tell them what a boss job I did turning in my rent check and asking a question in class.
I'm 22 gosh-darn years old, and I'm nowhere near being Miss Independent. I'm A Moment Like This, maybe. I'm probably still stuck in Texas. If you don't like Kelly Clarkson, you did not understand those last few lines, and you are fooling yourself.
My go-tos for rough days are childish, too. Sad? Re-read Harry Potter. Need a break? Watch the first season of Arrested Development or attempt to learn the Single Ladies dance. My most "intelligent moments" are when I turn to the Bible or Sporcle.
Don't tell my professors (or my mommy), but I am pushing 13, maybe. And give me a high-five if you see I've done my laundry.
I can't begin to tell you how much I empathize with your situation. Seriously. I'm so thrilled that I'm able to follow all two pages of my Mold Addendum of my apartment lease (which includes things like "don't leave the water running" and "dry off your dishes by hand") that I'm amazed that anyone expects me to pay rent or find an internship or ANYTHING ELSE.
ReplyDeleteBtw as soon as I read "Miss Independent" I thought "Is she making a Kelly Clarkson reference?" It pleased me to see that this was the case.
Someone else feels our pain: http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/2010/06/this-is-why-ill-never-be-adult.html
Love that one. So much.
ReplyDeleteAnd for the record, I just refilled a prescription and was looking around for someone to give me a trophy.
I'll give you a high five (after being a summer camp coach/leader, I fully recognize the amazing-ness of high fives.)
ReplyDeleteYup. I was going to reference the Hyperbole and a Half comic too. This is my life.
ReplyDelete