Don't disrespect.

Break from my memo, and a reward for finishing citations, which are dozens of tiny devils.

I don't want to beat on my fellow classmates here at law school, but there's definitely a need for some one to say KLASSROOMZ ETIKIT: ur doin it rong for some of them.

Pretty Pretty Princess Mac user, for example, does in fact have to spend a lot of her time trying to collect jewelry and avoid getting the black ring, but in between her quests for that gray plastic crown, she likes to look at Facebook.  During class.  While sitting directly in front of me.  She often Facebook chats people during crim law, but she also likes to browse through photos at random intervals.  Unfortunately, this results in my classroom experience turning into something like this:

Professor:......."There are several problems with the concept of felony murder, and we will examine them..."

PPP Mac: ......*FB chat...chat...Photo of friends...photophotophotophoto...FB chat.... look at manicure..*

My thoughts:...*Felony murder.... GAHHHH DUCKFACE... what? what problems? what happened?.....*

I HATE this.  We have assigned seats, and therefore she can't even move to the back row.  Not only is this super distracting for everyone behind you (her, plus the dude who checks his fantasy football league like something's gonna change at 11:15 AM on a Wednesday, ensure that I will be challenged to focus every day), but it's ridiculously rude to the professor.  Trust me, sweetie, he knows more than you do, even if you spent 90 minutes flat ironing your hair and he's balding.  People would kill for your spot in that seat, start acting like this matters.

The second major group that has classroom management problems is the Gunners, also known as the Classholes, also known as That Guy/Girl.  Must raise his hand for every question, even the rhetorical ones.  Likes to answer the questions everyone knows the answer to.  Must share personal stories and feelings in the answers.  If he doesn't know, he's gonna guess, doggone it! 

The absolute BEST thing they do, though, is ask questions that begin with "What if....?"  This beginning guaran-frickin'-tees that the question will be barely remotely related to the issue at hand, not be for the benefit of the class, attempt to make them look smarter and fail miserably, and waste limited classroom time.  Today's example was discussing a homicide that occured when a drunk expert skiier ran someone else over and the dude died.  Gunners-R-Us asked every possible question, from the somewhat reasonable "Is a ski slope similar to a road?" to "some inane thing we've already addressed and isn't important."

"What if the skiier did shots instead of drank 40s?"
"What if one of his skis was actually a badger?"
"What if the snow suddenly turned into powdered cocaine?"
"What if I cut off your arms and beat you with them every time you look a little bit pensive so you need to rethink every dumb, stupid thing that even has the potential to come out of your dumb, stupid mouth for the rest of the semest- oh wait, that one was me, in my head.

If you don't know who That Guy is in your classroom, it's you.

Seriously, guys, this education thing is pretty legit, your professors in general deserve your respect, and so do your clasmates.  This is a shared experience; let's not make it miserable, kay?