Sweatin' to the Oldies.

I am an occasional gym-goer.  If you average out my attendance in the past two years, I've gone once a week, but what this really means is that I turn into a juiced-up go-getter for two weeks or so and go nearly every day, and then taper off until my deltoids look like Flubber for a bit, and then drag my sorry butt to the gym once again.  It's a terrible thing, I know.  Which is why I am posting this on here, so everyone can know my shame, and I will hopefully then lessen the shame by finding a happy gym medium somewhere between unsalted butter and The Situation.

I am also a treadmill girl.  Most people say it's boring after like, 90 seconds, but for me it's time to not be staring at a casebook or grocery shopping or staring at a casebook or filling up my gas tank or setting a casebook on fire.  I get to zone out, and have thoughts like "wow, one of my ears is higher on my head than the other.  I never noticed that.  And now I get to spend the rest of my life noticing it YAYYY."  I don't generally have a certain time I need to do, or an amount I need to run.  I run until I can't anymore (sometimes that's a mile and a half, sometimes it's just the half), and then I walk.  When I feel okay again, I start running again.  And then when I can't, I walk, etc etc (COOL STORY, BRO)

I don't read.  I don't watch the TV (unless it's on Cash Cab because dang them gurlz get PAIIIID). I don't even listen to music.  I spend my 20, 30, 40 minutes getting gross and wondering why they made a Miss Congeniality 2.

And observing people, obvi!

And may I just say the one thing: I realize that this time is the time for the "New Year's Resolution people" to show up at gyms.  Seriously, y'all rock for doing that, and I hope it sticks, but it makes gyms more crowded, and I of all people understand that waiting for a treadmill is hardcore #firstworldproblems but also feels like the end of the frickin' WORLD when you have many things to do that day.  I don not WANT to wait, and my impatience could possibly end the world Mayan-style (that is, not at all, because I'm really not that mean).

My bigger issue with gym stuff is generally how I manage to get on the treadmill next to the offspring of Charles Atlas and a gazelle.  They start off their warmups at my "top speed" that I maintain for about 30 seconds at the end of my run to "power through" or whatever.  They all wear clothing that looks painted on, and painted on by Da Vinci.  I have turned into a bright pink version of the Canadian side of Niagara Falls and they look no different than when they started.  My steps sound Baby Elephant Walk-ish but less jaunty, and I am convinced that their feet are not actually making contact with the ground.

So, if you see me on a treadmill and my face is that nice mix of exhaustion and "I must look like a boulder that has grown legs" depression, give me a high-five.  But maybe wait like ten minutes for me to be able to lift my arm.

Let's get some resolutions up in here.

Hey all,

So, I realize that I am awful at updating this thing in a timely manner.  I want to find a way to update more, but since it takes an unreasonable amount of effort to churn out each individual Ming vase of word-paint, I will be forced into simply updating about more life-specific/less hilarious items. 

One of my New Year's resolutions is to update once a week.  If you see me in person or otherwise and it's been more than a week since this update, feel free to pistol-whip me (h/t Baird Bream).  Lightly chastising will work just as well if you don't carry.

Law school, part 4 (The Goblet of F... never mind) starts up on Monday.  I do not have grades yet, and won't for a while, so that means that what I WILL have is a series of mini-heart attacks every time the e-mail notification goes off on my phone because in my head it's a Pauly D-esque voice saying "GRADES AH HEAH."  Yes, I'm pathetic.  Yes, I did this to myself.  Yes, I could use some distraction. 

I am, however, rull excited about my classes, which is standard nerd cred right there.  Since 2012 thus far has included the extended versions of Two Towers and Return of the King, a purchase of Season 1 of Avatar: The Last Airbender, and a Settlers of Catan win, this looks like this is gonna be a good year for nerd cred.  Also, since Boyfriend is a gamer (just admit it, champ, it won't hurt), I have watched him play significant amounts of Battlefield 3 and Deus Ex, and hide behind his chair for some Dead Island.

It's okay, I know, you wish you could be this cool. 

My one thing to share with the world: when people have hiccups, stop giving them advice on how to cure them.  You will get no other response than "shut up, shut UP *HIC* no no no SERIOUSLY shut u-*HIC*" and you will deserve it.  Hiccups hurt, and when someone's like "did you hold your breath?! did you drink some water?! DO YOU WANT ME TO SCARE YOU BOOOOOO" all you want to do is punch that person in the face.  If you are that person to me, you will get punched, because you've now been warned.

I warn because I care.  Make me keep this up, y'all.