Yes, I'm going as Snooki. I really do not care if it's stupid or overdone, I love her and I found out recently that I can do the pouf with my hair. I'm going to shake my moneymaker along with the rest of my law school. (Technically, that would mean waving a casebook around at the bar... try not to laugh at this image, I DARE you.)
This is a segue to my actual point: The Slut Rule. This rule is defined by Mean Girls and this conversation:
Girl 1: "What are you going as for Halloween?"
Girl 2: "Sexy/slutty ________"
Before I get people getting angry at me, can I just say: while I personally do not feel comfortable dressing that way, it is absolutely up to you if you want to. Go ahead. You're allowed. I really, truly, don't care, and if you did a kickass job with your makeup I will tell you. I've seen absolutely stunning girls with gorgeous makeup and sweet (though tiny) outfits on Halloween, and I give them props. Additionally, if you are able to make yourself into something creative in this category (I believe my fave suggestion last year was "Sexy Civil War Reenactor"... come on, how many "The South Will Rise Again" puns could you make out of that?), I will give you MAD props.
So which ones do bother me? Three main groups:
1. Laziness.
This is often the Mean Girls category: buying a pair of ears and intentionally misusing eyeliner to give yourself whiskers doesn't make you a cat, it makes you lazy. Which might work for the cat, actually... but yeah, basically, if what you're wearing is what you'd wear out on any given night o' clubbin', and all you've added are ears, come ON. DO MORE. WORK for those free drinks. Otherwise I will be bringing a spray bottle of water to get you when you start claw-attacking the bar furniture, and harass you the whole evening with a fake mouse the whole night, trying to get you to chase it. You get upset? But, but... I thought you were a KITTY?! (Even better if the mouse is another girl who got lazy and is dressed just like you but in a GREY shirt).
2. WTF.
These are "sexy" costumes that aren't so the-back-o'-yo'-head-is-Riddikulus (TWO POP CULTURE REFERENCES, GET SOME) that they're funny: that's the Civil War Reenactor type. These types are generally sold, not put together, and clearly someone, somewhere, thought they'd legit be sexy. I stalked Spirit, a Halloween store that's got a whole category of "Sexy Women's Costumes," and some of my faves were:
- Sexy Robin Hood (labeled "Robyn Da Hood")
- Sexy Mad Hatter
- Sexy Border Patrol
- Sexy Taxi Driver
- Sexy Hermione Granger (I know, I know, but she's 11 in the first frickin' book, people!)
- Sexy Marie Antoinette
- Sexy Nun (also, I know, but can this one die? It wasn't funny to begin with. Also stop naming the costume Bad Habit - Sister Act 2 was better and funnier than this costume.)
- Sexy Bumblebee from Transformers
- Sexy Snowman
- Sexy Female Elvis
There are more, but I think you get the idea. If it's that much of a stretch to make it sexy AND it's not funny, it's WTF and don't buy it.
3. Borderline racist/generally insulting.
Many, many of the "sexy" costumes have gone way past politically incorrect right up into "No." First of all, I'd say don't dress up as a Native American or a Bollywood dancer or a Mexican bandit or whatever else is sold just because you can. You're better than that, and you're reducing someone's culture to a stereotype, and a tired one at that.
What actually gets me angry instead of just perturbed are the ones who take a cultural thing and try to work it into a double entendre. Examples: "Taj My Hall" for a vaguely Indian outfit. "Pocahottie" for an American Indian outift. "Saki (sic) Sweetie" for a kimono-ish thing. And, my personal favorite, "Makin' Reservations" for another American Indian dress. not bein offensiv: ur doin it rong.
So, sorry for the long post, but hopefully you can prep for my reactions to your costume based ono what I've written here. You can also avoid all of this and be funny and/or nerdy: my boyfriend is going as a t test for Halloween.
Off to the tanning salon.
Sexy Civil War Reeanactor was your favorite? I'm honored to be remembered!
ReplyDeleteHow the heck does he plan to dress up like a t test? That is awesome.
ReplyDeleteJen, Andrew's lazy, so he wants me to explain this way:
ReplyDelete"yo... my shirt is the numerator and my pants are the denominator, i just have to write stuff on them (or on pieces of paper on them... kind of like 3 hole punch Jim from The Office)"
YES BAIRD YOU ARE FANTASTIC. And Andrew might be my new favorite person. I laughed at Sexy Border Patrol but that one's racist in a whole different way than the awful ones you mentioned at the bottom.
ReplyDeleteI'd make a separate argument (or if this were my blog, a whole post) about how the entire idea that women need to dress "slutty" for Halloween is a big problem...but I am at work after all. But think about it - if guys can go as whatever they want, no matter how scary or disgusting, why can't women do that too? Obviously they CAN, but there's definitely a different social pressure on women to LOOK GOOD on Halloween that just isn't there for men.
"Makin' Reservations" is the best costume name ever.
ReplyDelete