Slight but important differences between Pennsylvania and New York drivers

I drove home for Thanksgiving, and it took me seven and a half hours. This is a three hour trip, and while that long in a car (I didn't stop because apparently "it'll take an extra eight minutes to get there if I stop to stretch" > "how do you know if you have a blood clot in your leg AM I DYING") isn't fun regardless of circumstances, I was doing between zero and five miles per hour for a majority of the trip, so my right leg was all kinds of painful.  The crowning glory of this trip was attempting to go over the Goethals bridge and slamming on my brakes to avoid getting hit by some girl with a rhinestone crown on her back window.  You won, princess, congrats.

I have since driven back to New York an additional time, so on these two there and back again trips I learned several slight, but key, differences between New York drivers and Pennsylvania ones.

1. Merging

New York drivers pretty much follow the one-car-from-each-lane-goes system when it's really bad and no one's fault.  There's always Entitled Asshat who drives up the shoulder and then attempts to merge ahead of like a hundred cars and then LOL OOPS NO ONE LETS YOU IN and I am not a vengeful person but dear God that is satisfying to observe.

Pennsylvania: while it seems like it would not be possible for this to be so, I am convinced that every person in Pennsylvania is Entitled Asshat, with a side of Drifty McDrifterson who just vaguely wanders between lanes and doesn't signal. It means I get to play a serious game of "this person will be in my lane.....NOW waitnope OKAY NOW" for a mile and a half on the turnpike.  Unless you have an axe wound wait your damn turn.

1a. Merging due to construction

New York: people try to get over immediately after they see the sign that the left or right lane is disappearing in half a mile.

Pennsylvania: people try to get over immediately after they've driven straight into a construction vehicle in the no-longer-present left or right lane.

2. Speed limits

New York: that is the speed at which you drive in the right lane.  55 means 70 in the left lane, 65 means 80, and you adjust for the speed of traffic.

Pennsylvania: 55 means 40 in the left lane with your turn signal on for at least 3 miles. You are unaware that any other cars exist around you.

3. Turning left with a green light

New York: you cut this close, always, but you speed up so the person with the right of way coming the other direction doesn't have to brake too hard.

Pennsylvania: turn left regardless of light color.  Left is the almighty ruler and everyone will brake for you because you have to get Jaydynn and Kartyrsen to soccer on time in your Escalade.  (STOP PUTTING Y'S IN YOUR CHILDREN'S NAMES WHERE THEY DON'T BELONG)

4. Cutting people off

New York: you do this, frequently.  You are not a jerk about it, and give the little "sorry I know I did something jerky please forgive me" wave.

Pennsylvania: LOLWUT THERE ARE OTHER CARS WHO KNEW

5. Toll booths

New York: you pick a lane near you and near the entrance ramp to the section of the highway you would like to be on.

Pennsylvania: you pick the toll lane farthest from your current position, have no idea where you want to go, and break down while you're next to the booth. 

6. Entrance ramps

New York:  ramp's short?  Floor it.  Get up to speed as quickly as possible and get over.  (Andrew, despite being a Pennsylvania resident, calls entrance ramps "launch pads" and is therefore doing it correctly.)

Pennsylvania:Oh, those cars are fast.  I'll just wait for a half-mile gap during rush hour and then slowly get up to speed.  Aw, there's like a cute little line behind me, I'm like a mother duck with her ducklings.  Aw, the guy behind me is even CALLING me mother duck!  I am adorable. 

PA, get it together, son.