Game of Thrones Season 4, Episode 5: "First of His Name"

There was no The Pounce That Was Promised this week so I am sad.

So one of the fun things I found out this week: remember the little Lannister boys who were effectively prisoners of war in Season 3?  Lord Karstark kills them and then Robb chops his head off dramatically in the rain all Stark-like?  So Dean Charles Chapman, the actor they recast as Tommen, played Martyn Lannister.  Karstark stabbed him but he came Back To Life as Tommen Baratheon, The First of His Name.  There are no other actors?  We'd forget? I don't know.  It just reminded me of how Law and Order: SVU will sometimes have an actor or actress in a bit part from the first few seasons suddenly reappear as a totally different person and because they were only in one or two episodes no one would notice.  I NOTICED.  ...yes, it took me like 3 weeks to figure it out but I EVENTUALLY DID, OKAY

Sandor and Arya
Still a little mad that "The Red Woman" is now in Arya's list, and the placement in the season of her starting to recite it seems a bit odd.  I'm trying to figure out if I remembered correctly, but if I do, at this point in the books, Arya is starting to consider leaving Sandor's name off of the list.  (Tried going through the book and couldn't confirm because I am actually the worst shit in Westeros and I had finals and I'm sorry. I am.)  Maisie Williams looked great practicing her swordwork, but NO SYRIO IS NOT DEAD I REFUSE TO BELIEVE WHAT IS ALMOST CERTAINLY TRUE.  Aaaaand we've got Sandor using the c-word again.  Obviously I sort of know where their storyline is going, but I also really don't.  Let's wait and see, shall we?

Dany
Yeah Daario's appearance is still hella generic, but I did truly enjoy his scene this week.  "I heard you like ships" is a good line, especially with him just eating like a jerk as he's talking to his qweeeeeen.  I really wish I could find it, because it comes across better visually, but I saw a gif of Dany after Daario says his ships line and it's captioned "damn he's right, I fucking love ships" and I LOST IT.  Perfection. 

Jorah Mormont could be played by a 3-week old puppy or an actual fedora and no one would notice.  And not that we're in any better shape with a lot of the other characters, but we're seriously running out of material for her: there's about a dozen pages left of her in ASoS, and then she's not back until ADwD so I don't know how this is gonna work.

Brienne and Pod
POOOOODDD.  Have I mentioned I love Pod? I love Pod.  I don't know why they've been walking on this one tree-covered lane for a week, but apparently they have.  Also the trees messed with Brienne's hair?  I don't even know.

Brienne's line about removing her own armor for years kinda broke my heart in the best way (and if you've read my previous post dedicated to her you kinda get why).  Then Pod's line about killing a man for Tyrion by putting a spear through his head also kinda broke my heart.  This was just a great scene: it's two people who are regularly being told that they're not really good for much, and are almost stupidly devoted to ideals and people they care about, and maybe they'll be okay together.  Again, I know I relate to Brienne, but I definitely relate to Pod for the same reason I related to Dontos and still do to Sam Tarly: I'd be totally incompetent in Westeros but try to be nice to people and it would probably totally screw me over.  SOMETIMES I'M TOO EMOTIONAL TO OPERATE, GUYS, I'M SORRY

*break to go cry for a few minutes*

Cersei
Okay so like, none of her scenes were in the books, so I can't really compare, but of course I still have lots of feelings.

Kiiiind of loved her scene with Margaery?  I really liked the camera angle of Margaery looking at Tommen and Cersei stepping into her line of sight.  The whole set of dialogue was a very stark contrast to their previous exchange of "call me sister again and I'll have you strangled in your sleep."  Both women are in mourning, Margaery to keep up appearances, and Cersei because she truly loved her son, but both women knew what he was: a nightmare.  I can't really explain why I liked this so much, but I did.

However: not a huge fan of her scene with Tywin.  I get the whole point of this is "o hai Dad, you're one of the judges, it would be A+ if you could legally kill Tyrion wink wink," but it just didn't fit.  Cersei being in control of a situation in which Tywin also stars just felt reeeeally off.  Also, since when is House Lannister broke when under the control of Tywin?  Tywin just pourin' wine and like "lol there's no gold in our lands isn't that just hilarious" and "take a guess" and "no really I'll share this information with the daughter I feel is incompetent" and he's apparently Tywin "YOLO" Lannister now?  Idk, guys.  Not feelin' it.

However, AGAIN: yessssss her scene with Oberyn yesssss.  One complaint: Oberyn is a Prince of Dorne, as we're never not told; does he only own that one coat thing?  Like seriously everyone with money on this show is like "lookit mah pretty outfits" and we're giving this dude one sad yellow coat.  Dress him up, yo.

Just a reminder that this dress happened

ANYWAY.  GUYS.  THIS WAS GREAT.

SO. GREAT.  BECAUSE BUT REALLY.  ALSO THIS IS STILL APPLICABLE TODAY.  This was a really important conversation, because clearly in Dorne they have better attitudes about class and about sex, but Cersei is not about to let Oberyn pretend that women and girls are safe.  I almost cried during this scene, and although this line/scene isn't explicitly stated in the books, it's a pretty perfect example of why I "get" Cersei.  I don't think I'd go as far as to say that I like her character, but man, I get why she does what she does.  

Sansa and the Eyrie
For the record, I am brilliant, because Littlefinger handed Robin Arryn that little glass bird thing and I was just like "he's gonna smash that thing" and LO AND BEHOLD out the Moon Door it goes.  Also I thought their prison cells were Moon Doors?  I don't know.  Also I feel like it's a bad call to leave that partially open all the time but whatever, Westeros is not known for being OSHA-compliant.

In case you non-bookreaders were wondering, yes, nearly all of that was in the books.  Lysa is more than a little cray, she marries Baelish, Baelish totally got her to poison her husband (Jon Arryn, Robert Baratheon's former Hand, remember when Ned was investigating that whole deal? Yeah, Petyr Baelish is just messin' ish up), Sansa has an amazing "You Do Not Pay Me Enough For This" face, she does go by Alayne Stone while she's in the Eyrie, etc. etc.  Littlefinger identifies her as his baseborn daughter in the books rather than his niece, so that's extra icky, because he clearly is trying to get with Sansa because she reminds him of her mother.  

One of the people I watched with was talking about Lysa and was like "should she be trusting Littlefinger?" and I made a really loud laugh-snort because 1. I am obnoxious and smug and 2. Not Lysa nor anyone should trust him he is the sneakiest.  Do Not Trust Him.  He Is a Fugly Slut.  (Tenth anniversary this month, I HAD to) 

The scene with Sansa and Lysa is Sophie Turner's finest to date, and really shows how Sansa has begun to play the game.  You can hear the actual fear and sadness when she calls herself a stupid girl, but she's ALSO completely aware that it's what Lysa wants to hear.  I love her in this scene, I loved this scene in general, it felt just as gross watching it as it did reading it, and I just wanna give mad props to everyone involved.

Bran and Jon and Craster's Keep and I don't even know
Hodor: "HODOR! Hodor! Hodor!"
The Six-Fingered Man/Locke: "Stop saying that!"
Hodor: "Hello, my name is Inigo Montoya, Bran is a warg, prepare to die."
 
Ohhhh look Locke's dead.  I cannot remember if Bran ever uses Hodor in the books to actually kill people, can anyone tell me?  In the books, Bran can in fact warg into animals and into Hodor at this point, mostly because it's implied that Hodor's mind is "simpler" than other humans' minds so Bran can do it.  This was kind of an intense scene for me to watch, because I kept thinking "what if someone mind-controlled you to kill someone" and got super squicked out.

Jojen was the kid in Love Actually and I can't quite get past that.  Sorry?  All I Want for Christmas is White Walkers? We need Kate, and we need Leo, and we need Coldhands, and we need them now? I don't know what to do about this guys because it's super creepy to hear him be like "I SAW YOUR BODY BURN" when I'm just like "noooo go be cute at the airport with Liam Neeson"  ANYWAY

Once again, 6000% done with the attempted rape as a plot device.  Meera is "saved" because of some totally unrelated good timing on the part of the Night's Watch.  Also, of course, her virtue or whatever is preserved because she's a named character we care about, but whatever to all of the Craster women who have been abused for literally every day of their lives, just by different men.  Stop this.

The fight scene was nice and gruesome if you're into that, I guess?  But I thought they said there were a dozen men and it took them like a while to subdue them?  I don't know how swordfighting works. Gin Alley dude is dead, of course, and I also feel like Jon should have taken care of him faster, but oh well.  I like how they picked like, The Most Impractical Sword Stab ever to have Jon kill him with: let's pick a place that is literally all bone and have you stab straight through it with the world's heaviest sword.  Also Jon way to drop the dude's body on the Craster girl and just be like "you okay?" Of course she's not okay bro but we'll never see them again.  Burning Craster's keep is also nice and symbolic but uh, where you gonna live?  It's cold out, yo.  I don't know.  This plotline is weird and I'm just happy they didn't have Bran and Jon run into each other because nope. 

I have finally gotten Andrew to start giggling about Jon's pretty hair and honestly that is all I ever wanted.  Also this week's award for Greatest Achievement in Accent Inconsistency goes to Jon Snow, for "Seven 'ells! Come 'ere, I misstya boyyyy!"  I don't even know what the goal was there.  Kit Harington has a very posh (Southern) English accent + the Stark actors in the first season said they tried to imitate Sean Bean's northern England accent and this apparently = weird drunk My Fair Lady Cockney.  I am of course super glad to see Ghost again, mostly because I had a white German Shepherd growing up who looked like a smaller version of Ghost and I therefore love this particular diredoggy.

I may not be able to watch next week's episode in a timely way, as it is Mother's Day and this show is not mama-friendly, so apologies in advance.  I'm interested to know how you felt both if you've read the books and if you haven't, because this episode was mostly deviations and filler, so it's hard for me to get a good read on it.  Let me know in the comments!