Disney gets real.

This is not a legit post, but I caught part of Beauty and the Beast this long weekend, and noticed something I've never noticed before.  She's my favorite Disney princess (books, duh, and she's awkward, hence, me), so I've seen the movie quite a few times.  Favorite part is obviously when he unveils the library.  That'd be game over for me.  You imprisoned my fathe-DON'T CARE BOOKSBOOKSBOOKS. 

However, I noticed one part I'd never noticed before.  The Beast is asking Cogsworth for advice on a gesture he can make to Belle in thanks for everything she's done or whatever, and I never quite registered Cogsworth's response.  It's "Hmm, there's the usual... flowers, chocolates, promises you don't intend to keep..."

Wow, Disney.  Wow.  Not sure if a writer just got dumped, or wanted to make some adults in the audience laugh, or what.  I love it, and it's hilarious, but jeez, the previous scene is Pretty Girl Plays With Dog-Turned-Footstool. 

Anyone else notice this?  Or did everyone and I was just blinded by the ten-story library right after that scene to notice the line?

Giving thanks and getting fat.

I plan to eat tomorrow until I cannot move and hate myself, nap for several hours, and then begin again.  My family already broke into a pie.  I ate two pieces.  My attitude for Thanksgiving eating is let those of you without sin cast the first stone.  I try to enforce that in my behavior elsewhere, but I MEAN IT when it comes to food.  I ate a pile of mashed potatoes the size of K-2?  Whatever, I saw you eat both drumsticks and enough stuffing to fill a silo.  Don't hate, appreciate.

I'm thankful for a lot of things, always, but trying to catalogue them is difficult.  You, dear readers, have the luxury of getting to hear all of my brilliant thoughts!  (Times like this I could honestly propose to and live a happy life with the narcissism that made blogs exist.  Internet, you da best.)  To come back to my original thought, I'm making a list, and please do not feel obligated to read it like any other post.  Those at least occassionally address common problems: this is straight-up me loving the sound of my own keyboard.

I'm thankful for:

• My little sister.  She's a ridiculous human being, but she's kind of my hero.  She's so grounded, tough, and not afraid to speak her mind, and I envy that about her.  I think she's currently blasting music in her room which is totally normal.
• Books.  Ultimate escape that gives me the ultimate high.  
• Catching every green light on the way to school
• Laughing until I cry and not even trying to stop it
• Going to kids' movies
• When the congregation sings along to the closing song at Mass
• When you bake earlier in the day, leave, completely forget that you baked, come home, and get super excited that your house or apartment smells really good and you have delicious food
• Unexpected happy mail
• Big envelopes (okay, so I've been a student forever and these still mean something to me)
• My parents, for being overall tough as hell on me but determined to make my life better than theirs.  Doubt they'll read this, but just in case: you guys didn't "screw me up."  You're not perfect, but no one is.  You care, and that's the most important part.
• All of my friends who may disagree with me on religious or political grounds but are happy to discuss, take it seriously, and still love me.  Y'all rock.
• Cardigans
• Nice conversations with cashiers and sales clerks
• The 3/4 measure in Livin' On a Prayer
• The characterization of Keladry of Mindelan in the Protector of the Small series
• People letting me pet their dogs
• Snow
• The release you get from spitting a verse of rap correctly and angrily
• Quoting a movie and having just one person recognize it and laugh
• Andrew Marshall.  You like me for all the reasons I like me, and you make me happy.  Even though you're a nerd and a half, and I'm pretty sure you might marry a rat and the Brown Band will play at your rat wedding.
• Chocolate
• Finally playing correctly a passage you've been practicing forever and having to stop right after the measures are over because you're smiling and fist pumping too hard to continue
• Pandora being brilliant
• (Watch me get all enigmatic and Livejournal-y) The ten or so people who have let me share my personal garbage and haven't run away from me
• Not working Black Friday for the first time in four years
• My hair behaving on a day I want it to
• A homily that says exactly what I need to hear
• Brown
• Villanova
• Life.  It's pretty awesome.

D'awwww.  I know.  Happy Thanksgiving, everyone.

Extended camping trip part 1.

I don't know whether or not to say SPOILER ALERT but the book's been out for a while.  I guess if you haven't seen the movie and actually care about the differences between the book and movie (join us, we've got jackets and the derision of our peers), then don't read this.

I'ma break this down into things I liked and things I didn't: seems simplest.

Things I liked.

• The entire scene with Bathilda's house.  When I say I liked it, I don't mean I enjoyed the scene, just that it was as pants-wettingly terrifying as when I read it in the book.  Beautifully creepy and awful.  
• Xenophilius Lovegood.  He was nicely wacky at the wedding, and his terror and desperation were very well portrayed in his second scene.  
• The scene where Ron gets Splinched.  Really good job by E-Wats there, pretty much exactly how I pictured it in the book.  Hermione's still being her brilliant, efficient self, but also flipping out a little and crying and scared and the whole thing just felt very, very real. 
• Story of the Deathly Hallows.  I was a little worried when I saw the animation start, but I didn't think it was cheesy: something about it made it the perfect combination of fantastical and morbid.  
• Every scene with Fred and George.  Actors do a perfect job, and the writers, too.  
• The interaction between Ron and Hermione.  I was hoping for more, I guess, but I think they got the dynamic well, especially after Ron returns (his apologetic nonsense).  There were also two extra lines that I kind of loved: when Harry's trying to run away, Ron's response of "we can't leave Hermione, we wouldn't last two days without her" was so sweet and SO TRUE.  She's saving their collective rears the entire last book.  I also really liked her response to Harry's question of "are you still mad at him?" - "I'm always mad at him."  TRUTH.  Both seemed like little self-aware inside jokes for dorks like me who got too invested in thinking about the books. 
• Rupert Grint.  Dude's been one of my faves since the first movie, but he did a really good job in this one.  Knows how to convey emotion in his face, and every scene with Hermione (especially those when he's trying to get back in her good graces) were quite well done.
• Charity Burbage.  All the chills from reading it the first time around showed up, and I more fully appreciated Snape being absolutely unable to do anything for her.
• The scene in the frozen pond with the sword.  I was actively shivering watching Harry, and that scene was also pretty much exactly how I pictured it.
• Frickin' Dobby.  Wept.  And I don't cry in movies.   

Things I did not like.

• Harry and Hermione dancing.  Really?  That was the most awkward thing ever, mostly because I'm not sure that was Harry attempting to be awkward, but actually how Daniel Radcliffe functions normally.  Not that I don't love the kid, but seriously watch an interview or two.  Yes, I laughed, no, it did not need to be in the movie.
• Voldemort's scene with needing a different Death Eater's wand.  Voldemort doesn't ask for volunteers; he commands.  He doesn't reference the amount of praise a follower would get for volunteering his wand.  And when he chooses Lucius, and he responds with "My Lord?" Voldemort does not do a mocking voice of "My Lord?"  No.  He's not a petty, sassy bully.  He's pure, straight evil and power.
• Mad-Eye's death.  Specifically the little time they spent on it.  And, in general, that battle, and how it's poorly done.  Harry using the Disarming Charm is a huge point in the book: he refuses to sink to his enemy's level to fight.  That whole battle is a big, huge, THIS IS SIRIUS (yeah I did it, shut it) moment of doom and they were kinda like "poor Hedwig, lawlz Hagrid landing in a pond, btdubs Mad-Eye's dead."
• Ron's bloodlust in the cafe.  I originally really disliked his desire to kill Dolohov and ...Rowle?  (slipping on the names), but my friend Jack pointed out that he actually liked it.  It showed that Ron, growing up in the Wizarding world, had seen and heard about just how evil these people are, while Harry and Hermione did not.  I was pissed because Ron is super nervous about even thinking about having to kill them in the book, so to me, the movie "messed it up," but Jack's take is a cool one.  
• The end of the Horcrux's fantasy scene.  You were doing so well at staying true to the books until you made the whole audience uncomfortable.  The words were supposed to be what hurt Ron, not super awk H/Hr macking. 
• They best be showing Dobby's effing headstone next movie, that's all I'm saying.
• The eye in Umbridge's door.  He let her keep it!  Not okay!
• This isn't really this movie's fault, but I actually laughed at the beginning when Bill Weasley has to be like "yeah, werewolf."  That's because the last movie was Harry Potter and the Whoopsie We Decided to Leave Out the Whole Damn Battle Scene and Replace It With Helena Bonham Carter Acting Wacky and Alan Rickman Refusing to Shout His Lines.  And I love both of them, I do.  She plays a very convincing Bellatrix.  And his voice sounds like chocolates on a pillow made of velvet.  But there's supposed to be shouting and a battle scene.  

Probably will add edits at some point, but if you've got an opinion on it, please comment!  I'm always curious about what other people think.

Poor Loko.

Just tried to type "memo" and actually typed "mofo" which is a pretty clear indication of how my life is going right now.  Law school is good until it keeps me from Harry Potter.  No midnight showing for me because of law school.  Once that happens I start yelling Unforgivable Curses in my head at my assignments and I wish I could actually make this memo writhe in pain: so worth the lifetime in Azkaban.  To sum up: I'M IN A RAGE!  This is the maddest I've ever been! (If you get this reference there is a monster high-five and a cookie waiting for you).  This is just some background for my everyone-never-talk-again post below.   

If I see one more post/article/tear-stained-face bemoaning the fact that everyone's favorite Bad Decision In A Can is gonna get nixed by that wet blanket, the FDA, I'm going to lose it.  People are complaining like a government agency banned fun, and the entire country has suddenly become that town from Footloose.

Unpopular/my opinion: it needed to be banned.

I've never been one for drinking in excess.  I didn't start drinking at all until my junior year of college, and to this day I've never been drunk.  I can't stand the feeling of losing control, and I don't feel safe when I've lost it, in any sense.  I don't mind being the designated driver, I can enjoy the occasional beer or gin and tonic, and I do not feel like my life has been compromised significantly because I don't get trashed.  So yes, I do realize I'm coming into this with an inherently biased opinion, as I have nothing I would lose if the fruity gasoline got yanked from shelves.  Hopefully you can look past this bias and see that I'm making sense anyway.  If not, oh well.  I'm aware I act like a 35-year-old and your being the 87th person telling me this fact ain't gonna do a damn thing.

I'ma break this down based on the arguments I've heard other people and the Loko lovelies themselves make for why lemonade-flavored tar should be sold.

1. Bars sell rum and cokes and vodka and Redbulls, and they aren't banned.
For one, Four Loko cuts out the middle man.  It's pre-mixed, so the company deliberately added caffeine to alcohol.  Two, have you watched the bartender make you a rum and coke?  (It's always a good call anyway if you can peek, so you know how much alcohol just went into the drink.)  You've got one, maybe two, tops, "drinks" in there, and about half of a can of Coke in that cup.  In a can of Four Loko, you've got 4 times the alcohol and probably about 8 times the caffeine.  Also a rum and coke has an actually decent chance of tasting good.  Same argument goes for Irish Coffee.  Three, saying that vodka and Redbulls exist is not a strong argument.  That drink is 'Roid Rage avec Deux Straws Petits and looks like battery acid made a baby with a 4-year-old Green Apple Jolly Rancher.  And that drink still has less caffeine and alcohol than a can of Four Loko.

2. The people who make Four Loko aren't making all these kids drink irresponsibly.  That's on them.
There is no way to drink this garbage responsibly.  The can it comes in is 23.5 ounces, and you can't reseal it.  Drink it down.  A fine wine or good beer may take a while for you to drink, because your tongue is enjoying it.  With Four Loko, your tongue is saying GET BEHIND ME, SATAN, so you swallow it as quickly as possible.  A product designed so you must drink a lot of it, and quickly?  Call me old-fashioned and take away my knitting needles, but back in MY day, we called that irresponsible drinking.  In this day, I'll also call it "a waste of money,"  "immature," "how dumb can you possibly be, seriously?" and "this can't possibly be enjoyable, can it? Don't lie." 

3. Their marketing is not dangerous: kids don't get fooled by a brightly-colored can.
Really?  You think this is the only issue?  How about the fact that it's malt liquor, and the statute of limitations on when it's legit to drink malt liquor expires within about 18 months of you being legally allowed to drink because that stuff is FOUL.  (Yes, I just made up that law.  Should be a real one.)  The whole can only costs a couple of dollars, and since we've already established that your taste buds are not part of the decision-making here, broke students are the only ones buying this liquefied Staten Island to get drunk.  

4. Caffeine's a stimulant and alcohol's a depressant, they, like, cancel each other out, right?
NO, NO, A THOUSAND TIMES NO.  Yeah, I was a bio major, but this is not even something that needs to get into detail.  This is also why drinking coffee will not sober you up to drive.  The only thing that makes you less drunk is time.  Don't be an idiot, seriously: if you're drunk, the only thing a stimulant will do to your system is convince your wasted brain that it's NOT drunk, it's FIIIINE.  Your motor skills are at the same terrible level they were at ten minutes ago, but now, instead of realizing that you couldn't fold a shirt if your future happiness depended on it, you think that you could fold a shirt so good that the creases could cut steel.  Yeah, funny, until you actually try to do something more dangerous.  Like walk.  Or drive.  Or DRINK MORE.  Yes, this happens.  You're really drunk and don't know it so you go after more alcohol.  Summary: they do NOT cancel each other out.  They build on each other like blowing up a planet with Doctor Device and lots of bad stuff happens.  

5. Lawls, we should just ban all alcohol then!  Since Prohibition worked SOOOO well LAWLZZZZ.
Shut up.  Seriously.  There are like a dozen fails in this argument.  The first is that this is a legitimate debate, and dropping sarcastic nuggets of facts-everyone-knows doesn't improve the debate: it just makes you look like a sassy high school junior who's probs in the top 15 in his class but is too cool to work harder, calls women "overly sensitive," and quotes Family Guy a lot and thinks he's really funny.  Yeah, I just generalized, and I'm doing it better than you do.
No one's trying to ban alcohol.  This is not a "slippery slope," since this is a really specific drink with really specific bad properties.  The Gambini Family will not start Four Loko speakeasies and whacking people over this "beverage."  They're just gonna take the caffeine out of the drink.  It's gonna be okay.
Also, to those saying kids will just find another way to get alcoholic energy drinks: I'm not so sure.  There are definitely people just drinking this to "see what happens" and not because they like it or drinks similar to it.  I think the extra effort will keep caffeine+alcohol out of lots of people's bodies.

 This is all I've got so far, but I may add to it.

If you're an offender of being a defender of this nationwide drink-choosing fail, do the world a favor and fight for something that matters.  Not only matters, but actually creates some kind of positive effect on anything, anywhere.  Like hating on memos with me. 

Bye, Loko.